Before I explain the events of last Friday night, I would like to make the following completely clear:
1) I had been drinking, but only two glasses of wine, which, frankly, wouldn’t have touched the sides. My alcohol consumption is therefore dismissed as a contributing factor.
2) I was not under the influence of any drugs more interesting than my Prozac and birth control.
Those facts firmly established, I would like suggestions on how the following might have happened…
Please picture a scene of almost distressing normality. It is about 11pm and, following a wild night of laying on the sofa drinking a civilised glass of wine and watching The Bourne Ultimatum, I head up to bed.
My bed.
I take out my lenses, wash off embarrassing amounts of make up, brush my teeth and go to bed. I read for about 10 minutes before switching off the light and going to sleep.
All so very normal that I’m sure you are wondering why I would share it with you.
Because, my lovelies, I woke up in the baby’s cot.
I’ll assume that you’re saying the same things that people I’ve told face-to-face did so …
Yes, in her cot. Her actual cot, with bars on the side and everything, yes.
Yes, she was in it too.
No, I didn’t crush her horribly, though she gave me hacky looks all through the next day
No, I’m not exactly sure how long I was asleep in there but best guess puts it at about 2 hours
No, I’m not tall enough to climb in without needing help. I’m assuming that I used the chair next to the cot. That’s certainly what I used to get out anyway.
Most importantly, no, I don’t remember getting in. I’ve managed over 30 years without anything like it happening before, except when I’ve been very very drunk. I’ve never been a sleepwalker so I’ve no experience of it… do you think that could be what I did?
